Homesick
by dontmesswithYami
Summary: This is my take on how Buck reacted to his wife's death. Full sumary inside. I'm sry for any grammitical mistsakes that may be in here. R&R!


**Moi: hey guys this is my first amept at a Left Behind fic, so I hope it is good! Enjoy! **

Summary: This is my take on how Buck reacted when he found out about his wife's death. Based off of Romans 5:1-4; 9, Mercy Me's song "Homesick" and, of course, LB Book #11.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Left Behind, "Homesick," or the Bible they belong to Tim Lahaye, Jerry B. Jenkins, Mercy Me and the writers of the Bible who were divinely inspired by God. _

**(……) Buck's thoughts**

Homesick Buck's POV 

"Buck! Get in here! I know what happened to Chloe!" yelled my father-in-law, Rayford Steele. "I'm coming! Just let me put Kenny down!" I yelled. My wife, Chloe, had been missing for a month now and we have been looking for her but we all have come to conclusion that she was captured by the GC and is most likely dead. Well, everyone except me that is. I believe that by the grace of God she is still alive. "Okay, I'm coming now!" I yelled as I left Kenny Bruce's room.

"What is so important as to pull me away from my son?" everyone just turned and looked at me then just looked back at the T.V. "It's about Chloe," said Ray with a quavering voice, "She's gone. The GC……they……. they…. killed her." After that, he just broke into tears. "No, she can't be gone. She just can't be." I said as I sat down and started to cry. Tsion came over and said " I'm sorry but the GCNN just said it. They are gloating over her death like so many like her. She has become a martyr. She's in a far better place and don't you'll be seeing her soon." "I know," I said with tears in my eyes, "It's just hard to except that the love of my life is gone and I have to wait a little under a year to see her. What will I say if Kenny asks where his mommy is? How will I explain to that his mommy is in heaven because the enemy killed her. How do you tell your child that his mom is gone because she was killed for her faith! HOW DO YOU TELL YOUR OWN CHILD THAT!"

After that everyone just stayed quiet. I broke the silence; "I need to spend some time alone. I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." With that I got up with tears still in my eyes and went up to my to read, pray, and to listen to music. I just needed to be alone. To let all of this sink in that my wife, mother of my child, is gone and I won't see her until the Glorious Appearing of Christ. This just makes me want to see the Appearing even more. I sit down at my desk and pull out my Bible. I flip it open to Romans chapter 5, one of my favorite chapters in the whole book of Romans, and begin to read the verses that I had been reading earlier.

"_Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.…... Since we have been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him. (Romans 5:1-4; 9 NIV)" _

As I read this, I began to think about how true this really is. If it were not for Christ dying on the cross, everything that I have now would cease to exist. If it were not for the shedding of his precious blood, I never would have believed, met Chloe, **(Oh Chloe, I miss you so much!)**, her father, nor any of the rest of the Tribulation Force for that matter. I never would have asked her to marry me and we never would have had a beautiful child, who is so unaware of the world that he is growing up in. After studying this passage for a while, I got down on my knees and started to pray.

I pray for the Trib. Force, so that God may give us strength to 'keep on, keeping on' until the Glorious Appearing. I pray for Kenny Bruce, that he may know God someday and know that although his mother is not here that she loves him very much. Also, ii pray for all the workers here in Petra, that they might persevere through this hard time, I pray for the still undecided that they might choose Christ and not take the mark to seal their fate. Then, I pray for strength to help all of us get through this hard time. Last, I praise God for everything he has given me and I praise him for everything that he has done and will do in the near future. I thank him for everything that he has given me and for sending his Son to die on the cross and saving me from me sins. With that I say "Amen" I go downstairs tell everyone goodnight, check on Kenny to make sure that he's still asleep, then I go to my room plug-in my CD player with my MercyMe CD that I found at the church in Mt. Prospect, IL. I really didn't have any emotional reaction to any song until I get to a song entitled "Homesick" that's when the tears started to fall.

" _You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times" _

**(That is so true, any place is better then here.) **

"_And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you. But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why cry. Is how long must I wait to be with you." _

When I heard this part of the song, this is when the tears really started to fall.

"_I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I never been more homesick than now."_

**(I close my eyes and I really do see her face. I truly am out of place, heaven is my real home. Please, Lord give me strength to make it through this ordeal! I truly am homesick.) **

"_Help me Lord 'cause I don't understand your ways."  
_

**(None of us do.) **

"_The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know. But even if you showed me the hurt would be the same." _

**(So true) **I thought.

"_Because I'm still here, so far away from home. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where the heart is then I'm out of place. Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than this. In Christ there are no good-byes." _

**(That is a good thing to look forward to.)**

"_In Christ there is no end." _

**(Amen.) **

"_So I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have. To see you again, to see you again!" _

**(You bet I will.) **

"_I'll close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place! Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow, won't you give me strength to make IT THROUGH SOMEHOW, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick………………than now." _

As the song ended, I thought about how much Chloe meant to me, I know that in just a little under a year I would see her again and we would be a family once again. Kenny Bruce,his mom, andhis dadall together for the rest of eternity.

**Moi: I hope that ya'll enjoyed this story! And if you like this one I have 1 story and 2 poems under the Anime category under Yu-Gi-Oh! But just to warn you they are yaoi! So if you don't like don't read but please if you read them please leave me a review! Anyway, don't forget to R&R this story, too!**


End file.
